"you need a mantra."
i stared at my therapist. huh?
"you spend a lot of time in your head. you need a mantra to refocus."
hmm. okay. makes sense. i guess. so we ran through a few. nothing struck me.
then: "let go or be dragged."
"i see myself being drug all over the place with that one."
she cocks her head at me.
"yeah, i know. that's the one."
flashback to five years ago, when i heard the same thing: "ever think that you are allowing yourself to be strung along?" ouch. maybe it's just me, but that's a painful reality. nothing hurts more than the truth sometimes.
so, "let go or be dragged" is my new mantra. now, i don't want you to picture me sitting around on a mat, burning incense and chanting (though, some days, that might prove to be helpful...)
for me, the mantra is to help me get back the moment. one of the worst things for me to do when dealing with ED or any other negative stressor is to dwell on it--breath life into it and give it room to grow. it happens--more than i would like to admit.
maybe it sounds crazy: why would i choose to be drug around by negative thoughts? good question. i'd rather not be, but for me, it's my "autopilot:" the route my mind naturally takes. if you actually saw the thought process to get back to what most of you would call "normal," you'd be exhausted.
distractions help. they're a lifesaver some days.
creating gets me out of my head. it's hard to concentrate on irrational thoughts when i'm flattening bottle caps. in fact, using the rubber mallet is quite therapeutic.
here's my newest jewelry adventure: bottle cap pendants. i made this one in honor of my son :)
this is me: refusing to be drug.