thinking

david and i got away this weekend. ah, the lake.

there's just something about this place that makes me happy. maybe it's because so much of my childhood was spent here with the people i love. maybe it's because the love of my life asked me to spend forever with him here...whatever the reason, it's easy to be content here.

i spend so much time "in my head." there are days that i feel trapped by the thoughts that constantly swim around.

eat. don't eat. lie. tell the truth. act happy. own your sadness.

sometimes, it takes getting away to stop the thoughts.

my therapist is always urging me to "be in the moment." to come down out of my head. to just be.

so, here goes.

i feel the warm sunshine on my face.

i hear birds chirping. a woodpecker  doing what he does best.

the slight breeze creates the most beautiful ripple in what is left of the lake now.

the sky is the most amazing blue possible. i don't think i could mix this color if i tried.

most everything around me is dead, yet there is a feeling of hope in the air. a promise that things will change. that plants will blossom. flowers will bloom.

yes, here, i am reminded that life is good. sometimes it takes getting away to remember what is important. work can suck. circumstances can be hard. but life is always worth living.

as the apostle paul wrote so long ago, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." (romans 8:18)

here's to the future.

thoughtful thursday: irony

i've been absent lately...here's what happens: i get great feedback, and then get scared of posting something that isn't "perfect" or "great" or "worthy of reading by others..."

and then i have to remind myself that this is MY blog. about MY experiences, motivations, passions, etc. (is it any wonder that i am a self proclaimed "people pleaser?") you can take it or leave it. i need to post anyway. for myself.

that being said, i hate "new year's resolutions." personally, i think they are crap. one can decide to change at any time...one just has to be willing...no judgement or standards need to be passed.

i attempted a "wordless wednesday" posting, then shot myself in the leg, earlier this week.

no resolution here. i've just decided that posting keeps me accountable, even if only to my sweet hubby who enjoys reading this...so, i will post on a somewhat regular basis. at the least: i will consider a "wordless wednesday" and/or "thoughtful thursday" posting (though, while i HATE the thought of being so "mainstream," i value the consistency). small expectations are great for us overachievers.

try number two: thoughtful thursday 1/19/2012 (note--my computer has be jacked up all week--had to visit the apple store today--hence the publishing delay)
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is it any wonder that a lady with an eating disorder would end up loving a cat like this:

insight: sometimes, it's okay to lick the bowl.

oops.

well, crap. i was thinking tomorrow was blackout day. in other news, yay for one day closer to the weekend!

oh well...too late to blackout this blog, but please visit Band Back Together to learn more about SOPA.

Wordless Wednesday

Yeah, I know. I've been absent. Gathering my thoughts. Figured this would be a good day to jump back in...