nine days til one year

one year old. one YEAR old.

no more only referring to wells as ___ months old. one year. one YEAR. really? already?

it seems like only a short time ago i was freaking out about the reality of going into labor. (dear pregnant kimberly: labor is nothing compared to the first six months with a reflux baby. love, mommy kimberly)

today, i held my baby's hand on the same railroad tracks where his daddy and i held each other and smiled for mari's camera on our wedding day. today, he laughed and babbled and crawled and stood there before us--when only a year ago he barely opened his eyes to squint at us.

ONE YEAR. i cannot believe it.

it's all happened so fast, this year of ours, our family of three. and yet, it feels like it's always been this way. neither of us can imagine life without our precious baby boy.

today, he took nine well balanced steps at home (possibly due to the sugar high from the colossal cookies and cream cupcake he tore into).  today, my soon-to-be "big boy" still nursed to snuggle and comfort himself when he was overwhelmed.

how do i feel? hard to say. i loved his photo session. seeing him so healthy and happy--it's every mommy's dream. but now, after he's gone to sleep, reality has started to set in.

it's bittersweet. and exciting. and scary. and a bit sad. all at the same time. does that make sense?

i wonder. i wonder who he will be in the next ten years: will he be an introverted planner like me, needing time alone to recharge? will he be spontaneous like david, always ready to do something at a moment's notice?

as we draw near to the end of this first year, i can't help but thank my God. for my family, my son, my husband, my life--a life i once thought didn't have much to offer. . . to anyone, much less myself.

i am blessed. and blessed and blessed and blessed. and happy, oh-so-very-happy!

i adore my son, his innocence, his purity, his devotion to us. . .

at this age, he is the essence of Matthew 19:14:

"But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”