so, tonight ED gave me a few reasons to not go to a support group: 1) your friend won't be there 2) you might have to sit in traffic and be late 3) you're too tired.
i'm glad that the rational brain won.
tonight, i was again reminded of what loving parents i have now, and had growing up. listening to others as they work through their past, i found myself almost ashamed of dealing with ED and not having all of the baggage that some of the other amazing ladies in the group are stuck lugging around.
then i remembered: unnecessary guilt=Ed thoughts. i stopped.
on the way home, i talked with a lady that has inspired me so much, and with who i hope to genuinely become great friends. i found myself thinking "let it be" (yes, i love the beatles) and just live life. day to day.
overcome with emotions, i felt the need to call my dad, the one who literally carried me to the path to recover. instead of feeling guilty, i allowed myself to be grateful. and i told him (note: this is big. words are hard for many of us dealing with ED).
i am grateful to have had a happy childhood.
i am grateful to have had a supportive family.
i am grateful to have parents who approve of and love my husband. (BIG ONE HERE)
above all, i am grateful to be alive. life is good. very good. amazing, in fact.
and, i am fortunate to say, my family, the one i was born into and the one i now have through marriage, is a large part of that.
until next time,
LIVE life. LOVE yourself. CREATE recovery.